For some reason many people seem to ask you the same question throughout different phases of life. A pretty common question for a newly married couple would be, well when are you going to start a family? When are you going to have children? A cultural norm for sure but this would seem to be a very personal question to ask on a whim. Regardless of how you feel about it sometimes these questions have unintended consequences. For us we have always been very open about our plans for a family, actually to be honest Magan probably more than Mike has been more upfront about the subject. Well like most couples when “we” thought the time was right, you know the savings account looks good, house, two cars, the “American dream” looked right it was time for a family!
All this planning and getting “our ducks in a row” was our plans and not the plans that God had for us. A year into our expansion plan we knew something was not right, we began to get frustrated asking questions like “are we on the right track?”, “what is wrong?”, “why is everyone else?” We were in our desert, we were desperate, and we were confused. All this led to a huge wake up call for both of us (of course this is all in retrospect). We are fortunate we only had to go to a few doctors appointments before we realized. I think we both remember it very differently, but one thing was clear to us and to the doctors we were not having biological children. Fortunate in many ways because they didn’t say we could have children they said “THERE WAS NOT A CHANCE”. For the next few weeks/ months we were in shock, in disbelief. We were questioning our faith, questioning who we were, and the all important question of why we were on the opposite side of the country from family facing this alone.
God has a funny way of getting your attention but more than ever he had it now. We would never say that we weren’t open to the idea of adoption; I think like most couples you say to yourself we will have a biological child prior to adopting. The idea that there are children out there that don’t have parents (450 million!) seems to be one of those things no one talks about. As long as you don’t educate yourself on it and learn about it then it doesn’t exist. So we started where everyone starts researching something GOOGLE it! What we found was overwhelming there weren’t just seeing agencies we were seeing actual children available waiting for homes. We came to the quick realization that why we were trying to start a family there were kids waiting to be a part of our family. We would like to say our hearts were immediately open to the idea but we saw the truth and waited until one day it all made sense. We were connected with people who were adopted, who are adopting, and had adopted. We even turned on the television one night to find a Simpson’s episode about adoption! We knew that was for sure a divine sign, we dove in!
We started researching agencies, and countries, we were in the strangest of ways pregnant. We met with several agencies before landing at Holt; and from there we looked at the countries we were eligible for. We had it narrowed down to South Korea and Ethiopia the decision was daunting, there was so much need, how would we be able to choose? Our friends who had been through the process told us to start looking at pictures of the children and let your heart guide you. I think we both blew off the advice as our hearts broke for all the kids that we saw. Then we met with Holt and a few other families one of which just adopted a little girl from Ethiopia. This feeling was very different from what we had gotten by looking at the pictures what we were experiencing was a tangible, laughing, breathing beautiful little one from the other side of the globe. Our hearts were broken, we took a week prayed about it and called the agency and started the official process to adopt from Ethiopia.
All this planning and getting “our ducks in a row” was our plans and not the plans that God had for us. A year into our expansion plan we knew something was not right, we began to get frustrated asking questions like “are we on the right track?”, “what is wrong?”, “why is everyone else?” We were in our desert, we were desperate, and we were confused. All this led to a huge wake up call for both of us (of course this is all in retrospect). We are fortunate we only had to go to a few doctors appointments before we realized. I think we both remember it very differently, but one thing was clear to us and to the doctors we were not having biological children. Fortunate in many ways because they didn’t say we could have children they said “THERE WAS NOT A CHANCE”. For the next few weeks/ months we were in shock, in disbelief. We were questioning our faith, questioning who we were, and the all important question of why we were on the opposite side of the country from family facing this alone.
God has a funny way of getting your attention but more than ever he had it now. We would never say that we weren’t open to the idea of adoption; I think like most couples you say to yourself we will have a biological child prior to adopting. The idea that there are children out there that don’t have parents (450 million!) seems to be one of those things no one talks about. As long as you don’t educate yourself on it and learn about it then it doesn’t exist. So we started where everyone starts researching something GOOGLE it! What we found was overwhelming there weren’t just seeing agencies we were seeing actual children available waiting for homes. We came to the quick realization that why we were trying to start a family there were kids waiting to be a part of our family. We would like to say our hearts were immediately open to the idea but we saw the truth and waited until one day it all made sense. We were connected with people who were adopted, who are adopting, and had adopted. We even turned on the television one night to find a Simpson’s episode about adoption! We knew that was for sure a divine sign, we dove in!
We started researching agencies, and countries, we were in the strangest of ways pregnant. We met with several agencies before landing at Holt; and from there we looked at the countries we were eligible for. We had it narrowed down to South Korea and Ethiopia the decision was daunting, there was so much need, how would we be able to choose? Our friends who had been through the process told us to start looking at pictures of the children and let your heart guide you. I think we both blew off the advice as our hearts broke for all the kids that we saw. Then we met with Holt and a few other families one of which just adopted a little girl from Ethiopia. This feeling was very different from what we had gotten by looking at the pictures what we were experiencing was a tangible, laughing, breathing beautiful little one from the other side of the globe. Our hearts were broken, we took a week prayed about it and called the agency and started the official process to adopt from Ethiopia.
A little less than a month into the process now we realize that the amount of questions, paperwork, and feelings can be overwhelming. The logistics of the process are not to be taken lightly but when you look at the big picture it is all worth it. The timeline for the process is approximately one year. At some point next summer we will travel for 10 days to Ethiopia to pick up the newest member of our family.
We hope that you might be interested in joining us on this journey, we intend to post our thoughts, feelings, and experiences along the way. You can subscribe to the blog via email if you would like updates emailed to you. If you would like to contact us we can be emailed at mbyrd3@hotmail.com
We hope that you might be interested in joining us on this journey, we intend to post our thoughts, feelings, and experiences along the way. You can subscribe to the blog via email if you would like updates emailed to you. If you would like to contact us we can be emailed at mbyrd3@hotmail.com
----side note ---- Many have asked how they could support us in this process. First at foremost pray for the protection of our hearts and minds right now. Pray that we will be at peace during our the wait period as we know God has perfect timing in this. Practically we are attempting to raise support for transportation to and from Ethiopia (approx -5-6k) we are applying for grants and have added a way to accept donations to the bringhomeBabyByrdfund on the right hand side of this blog. Any funds that we collect in excess of our transportation costs we will be donating directly to the orphanage in Ethiopia for clothes, formula, food, toys...
4 comments:
It's amazing how God has the perfect timing in everything. I am praying for you guys and cannot wait for the updates on baby byrd. Even more, I cannot wait to meet little byrd.
Amy
Yeah! I'm so excited for you guys. I will be praying for Baby Byrd (such a cute name).
PS - We sent in our recommendation on Thursday morning last week. So it should have made it back by now.
Love you guys!
Christy
You are an amazing couple! I cannot wait to see your family grow through the years. Chris and I will keep you in our prayers for your travels and the year to come. I am looking forward to throwing a birdie baby shower in the spring!
What an amazing journey you are on! We are excited to be a part, even from so far away. We are very proud of you two, and thrilled to be aunt & uncle to baby Byrd!! You are always in our heart and thoughts. We love you and miss you! Get ready, It will come quicker than you think! Yeah :o)
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